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Traveling and Flying Long Haul Flight (First Trimester) Part 1

Monday, 16 October 2017

Di kehamilanku yang pertama ini aku sudah melakukan 2 perjalanan, dan keduanya perjalanan lintas benua, hehe. Berhubung aku tau banget kalau ibu-ibu hamil muda senang baca informasi dan pengalaman seperti ini, jadi kali ini aku mau tulis pengalamanku.

Pertama aku pergi ke Melbourne, Australia selama 6 hari. Waktu itu aku nggak tau aku hamil, tapi hitungannya kira-kira perjalananku itu saat usia kehamilan 5-6 minggu. Kurang lebih 1 minggu sebelum berangkat aku mulai mengalami mual dari pagi sampai tengah malam kadang gak bisa tidur, dan fatigue yang bikin lemessssss banget setiap hari. Selain itu gejala yang aku rasakan: nggak bisa lama di mobil karena mual, dan kalau lagi mual lampu mesti dalam keadaan remang-remang/gelap soalnya lampu terang jadi salah satu trigger yang bikin tambah mual, tidak lupa tender breasts, setiap buka bra kerasa sakit. Aku nggak ada pikiran aku hamil jadi sangkain ini karena kista. Karena mual, makan jadi susah dan sedikit-sedikit. Serba salah deh rasanya.

Akhirnya waktu jalan-jalan pun tiba, sungguh excited tapi sepanjang perjalanan di pesawat mual tiada henti, terutama saat take off dan landing. Sekitar 6,5 jam Jakarta - Melbourne nggak makan sama sekali karena nyium bau nya aja bikin mual, bahkan kalau Panca makan aku mesti merem karena liat makanan aja, you guessed it, mual. Aku nggak nonton film/nyalain layar entertainment selama di pesawat karena bikin pusing. Karena saat itu nggak tau kalau lagi hamil, jadi nggak memastikan kalau aku stay hydrated, dan sama sekali nggak berdiri untuk ke toilet/sekedar gerak-gerak untuk memastikan peredaran darah lancar. Alhamdulillah nggak terjadi apa-apa dan lega banget saat sampai Melbourne.





Ternyata Melbourne lebih dingin dari perkiraan, ditambah angin dan hujan. Untung last minute sebelum berangkat aku memutuskan bawa coat, yang ujungnya dipakai hampir setiap hari selama di sana. Airbnb tempat kita menginap nyaman banget, dan sebrang halte tram (sangat membantu), dekat kemana-mana tinggal jalan kaki. Selama di Melbourne, tetap mual, terutama di pagi hari, makan tetap susah, ditambah udara dingin. Aku di sana pakai celana jeans karena saat itu belum sadar pakai celana jeans trigger nausea (untuk aku, nggak semua ibu kaya begini). Panca khawatir tapi dia juga nggak kepikiran aku hamil. Melbourne kan kota nya santai dan nggak begitu besar, jadi aku jalan kaki juga nggak se capek biasanya. Udara juga bersih napas gak berat kaya di Jakarta.




Kalau follow Instagram aku, kalian tau aku pergi ke Mt Buller untuk day trip, mumpung lagi salju. Aku sewa coach yang tempat penjemputan nya itu di Federation Square, jalan kaki sekitar 2 menit dari Airbnb (alhamdulillah) dan berangkat nya itu jam 5.30 pagi, sekitar 4 jam perjalanan. Tentu saja aku mual terus, ditambah perjalanannya itu banyak nanjak dan saat sudah dekat gunung jalanannya kelok-kelok. Di bus aku maksa tidur supaya nggak terasa. Saat sampai di Mt Buller, rasanya udah hampir muntah, udah jalan ke toilet tapi terus nggak jadi.

Di Mt Buller hari itu turun salju dengan angin yang kencengggg banget (menurutku). Di mana-mana fresh snow lumayan dalam, sampai banyak kursi, meja, dll di village nya yang terkubur salju. Dingin nya parah! Kalau saat itu aku tau aku hamil pasti aku udah panik. Panca masih ribut dan ribet ngajak foto sana sini di saat cuaca tuh nggak kondusif karena angin kenceng banget, salju tebel, jadinya aku sempet bete deh sama dia. Hahaha. Udah gitu tujuan utamaku ke Mt Buller kan dog sledding, di mana aku ter expose dengan banyak anjing  yang spend a lot of their time outdoor di cuaca yang sangat dingin. Jarak antara tempat parkir bus/tempat shuttle ke village dan tempat dog sledding ini 1km dengan arah yang berbeda. Saat berangkat untungnya masih ada taksi yang mau antar, padahal kondisi jalan udah gak friendly dan licin dan pas udah dekat tempat dog sledding itu salju nya belum dibersihin dari jalan utama. Lumayan ngeri. Nah..... untuk kembali ke area utama (tempat parkir/shuttle bus) dari tempat dog sledding ini kita jalan kaki. Sama sekali nggak ada orang! Kanan kiri kita lihat banyak mobil yang tertutup salju. Untungnya kita sewa waterproof boots yang suitable untuk jalan di salju, kalau nggak pasti udah kepleset dan kedinginan karena basah. Function over fashion, people! Semoga anakku tangguh deh soalnya ibunya pas hamil ada-ada aja, hahaha. Untungnya selesai dog sledding cuaca membaik dan agak terang meskipun tetap mendung.





Ke "ada-ada aja" selanjutnya adalah kita naik charlift untuk lihat pemandangan. Asli ya naik ski chairlift itu serem banget buat yang takut ketinggian. Hanya ada pegangan di depan aja tapi kalo apes dan kepleset, ya kelar lah jatuh. Waktu naik chairlift ini salju turun lagi dan dinginnya aku bener-bener nggak kuat. Ya ampun untungnya nggak kenapa-kenapa kehamilanku T_T Karena lumayan ekstrim secara Jakarta adem aja ngga pernah, apalagi dingin. Naik charlift bolak balik totalnya 30-40 menit dan tinggiiiiii banget. Saat itu aku memutuskan kalau snowboarding dan ski tidak cocok untuk aku karena naik charlift aja takut banget!

Pulang dari Mt Buller dari sana jam 4 sore, sampai di Federation Square kalau nggak salah jam 8-8.30 malam. Nggak perlu kasihtau lagi kalau aku mual selama di perjalanan. Besoknya pesawat kembali ke Jakarta dan masihhhh mual, sama aja pengalamannya seperti waktu berangkat. Nggak makan sama sekali, nggak nonton film dan nyalain layar, maksa tidur aja terus. Usia kehamilanku kira-kira 6 minggu.

Aku pulang tanggal 22 Agustus dan tanggal 28 Agustus aku ke dokter kandungan dan baru deh ketahuan kalau aku hamil! Jadi semua gejala yang aku rasakan itu umum ya untuk ibu hamil.

Jadi menurutku, yang bikin "nggak nyaman" jalan-jalan di saat sangat early in the pregnancy adalah menjalani gejalanya, terutama mual. Kalau kamu merasa gejalamu bisa kamu tahan dan nggak mempengaruhi, dan tentu saja dengan restu dari dokter (kehamilanmu low risk, kondisi ibu dan janin sehat), nggak apa-apa banget kok jalan-jalan. Perlu dicatat setiap kehamilan itu beda-beda ya. Untukku yang paling ngaruh itu di pesawat nggak nyaman banget, tapi selama di Melbourne meskipun mual dan susah makan aku tetap senang dan bersyukur. Bersyukur bisa jalan-jalan berdua suami, dari bangun tidur sampai tidur lagi berdua, eksplor kota baru untuk kita. Soalnya kalau di Jakarta dari pagi sampai sore kan Panca ngantor. Kalau soal ketakutan akan keguguran saat traveling di trimester pertama akan aku bahas di post selanjutnya sekalian cerita pengalaman traveling ke negara yang lebih jauh lagi!

Much love,
x

How I Found Out I Was Pregnant

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

This story is not going to have a nice beginning, so there's my warning. I have not talked about this publicly, except for on my Twitter which people don't follow or read Twitter anymore. Only very few of my friends knew about this, it's not something that is easy for me to talk about eventhough it happens to a lot of women, so here it goes.

Flashback to beginning of 2017, I started feeling like maybe it's time that we start trying to have a baby. I knew I've always wanted to be a mother, I wanted to have a family, but when we got married I really didn't feel ready. As stable as our relationship was, I was mentally unstable. I couldn't leave something as monumental as having a baby--a human being, up to fate, so we made a conscious decision not to try at the time. I wanted to welcome our baby into a world where they are longed and truly wanted. Anyways, I thought it's good timing, we've been together almost 7 years (including dating), we've had tons of blessings and made a lot of memories just the both of us, I just thought it's time, although I was also quite nervous and still a bit confused. Also, seeing 2 of my close friends had their babies made me REALLY want one.

March 2017 came and it was our 2nd wedding anniversary, not long after that I talked to my husband about it and before we've kind of talked about 'trying' in 2017, but it felt more real at that moment. In April I realized that I wasn't leading a healthy lifestyle, and it would be unfair to my baby if my body wasn't ready to nurture a fetus there would be more possibility for complications and I would've endangered myself as well, it would irresponsible. So starting May, I started working out regularly and cutting out calories and a lot of refined sugar from my diet until I lost about 12kgs and then in my first month of pregnancy (when I still didn't know I was pregnant) I lost 4-5 more kgs. Working out really changed me mentally and not just physically, and I would be more confident around my husband, I would say we had more fun during those months (before I found out I was pregnant) than ever.

And then July 2017 came. At this point of the story I want you to know that for the last 1,5 years before I got pregnant, my menstruation cycle had been irregular, probably because of how unhealthy I was. So by the end of July I haven't had my period yet, a few days later than the approximate time when it usually happened. I thought "Hm, maybe it's because of the change in my lifestyle?" although I'm sure I wasn't working out too much, I didn't do anything extreme. Although at some point I did cut down too many calories which I'm absolutely NOT going to suggest you to do, it does more harm than good. I didn't think anything bad was happening, but I thought there's a possibility I might be pregnant. I took a pregnancy test..... it was negative. I was disappointed but more confused, so why am I not having my period? I told my Mom about it and she told me to go to the doctor and that she hoped I was pregnant. I told her "Udahlah Ma yang penting aku sehat", because not only would I be disappointed if I was really not pregnant, but I didn't want to feel like I let others down too. I thought about postponing going to the doctor, but I ended up booking an appointment the next day.

I worried a little bit but more excited, I really didn't expect to hear anything scary. "Prof, saya terlambat mens tapi test pack negatif. Dalam waktu 2-3 bulan terakhir saya dari nggak pernah olahraga jadi olahraga 3-4 kali seminggu dan turun 12kg. Apa dari itu ya Prof?" So I had transvaginal ultrasound and I was diagnosed with dermoid cyst in my ovary. Size was around 3,5x4x5 cm. May not be considered big but to me it's substantial. Wow. Shocked. Didn't expect that at all. In my lifetime I'm blessed enough that I never got admitted to the hospital, even when I had dengue fever my Mom took care of us at home. So this is the first time I heard something like this and it scared me. At that point I wanted to cry but I held back tears. My husband was also confused and tried to hold my hand tightly but I put my hand away because I knew I would cry. My doctor told me I needed surgery, but he assured me that it wasn't an emergency and then he said "Paling beberapa hari lagi mens" maybe because he saw the thickening of my uterine lining, but he also said he saw no signs of pregnancy. I asked if it could affect fertility and he said it could. Wow. We told him we had 2 trips planned (Melbourne in August and Italy in September) and he told us surgery could wait until October except if there was emergency situation. We went to the car and I broke down because I was scared. My tumor is benign and rarely develop into cancerous tissue, but both my late Dad and Grandma passed away from cancer, so I probably have the genes. I panicked and would burst into tears at any moment.

It may be trivial for some people because a lot of women have cysts, but for someone who's going through it it doesn't make it any less scary. For a couple of days I was upset but then I thought "Dalam hidupku aku sudah banyak sekali dapat berkat, aku nggak ingin berlarut-larut" and I would feel better. After that we kind of stopped trying because we were afraid it would hurt me. I held on to what my doctor said and waited for my period but come August and my period wasn't happening. Our trip to Melbourne was in mid-August and maybe 1-2 weeks before that I started getting nausea and fatigue. It gradually got worse that I would get nauseous in the morning UNTIL late at night. I would have no energy to get up from bed and would lay pretty much all day. I thought "Oh maybe my cyst is acting up and getting worse now that it's affecting me this way" I didn't think I was pregnant at all and was probably blocking the thought because I didn't want to have hopes just to be disappointed.

During the entire flight duration from Jakarta to Melbourne and Melbourne to Jakarta I would get SOOOO nauseous and lightheaded I was miserable. I didn't eat anything on the plane because even the smell would offend me. Mornings in Melbourne were tough because we wanted to walk around and see places but I really would not have any energy in the mornings. But I got up and thought it was just my cyst acting up. My husband would worry but we did a lot of things and made beautiful memories there in the end (not as much as we usually do because I would get tired and needed to sit more often). I could not eat a lot and would only eat specific meals.

When we came home I told my husband "Mungkin mesti test pack lagi kali ya" so my husband bought two. But I don't know why I didn't do it, maybe because I didn't want to be disappointed. We went to the doctor again to check my cyst because the next month we planned a big trip to Italy so we wanted to make sure I was okay to go and then have surgery, not really expecting anything else. Told him my symptoms "Prof, waktu akhir Juli Prof bilang tunggu saya mens, tapi sampai sekarang belum mens juga, dan saya mual terus pagi siang sore malam, rasanya fatigue aja dan ga ada energi". I went to the ultrasound part of the room and I didn't hear the professor telling my husband "Ah hamil kali" haha. And then there it was! My little bean! The professor smiled and said "Hamil" and I was confused and surprised, I had a "Hah?" moment, actually said "Ah masa sih Prof" and it turned out I was. Pregnant. I teared up right then and there and he said "Lho kenapa" "Kaget Prof". At the time I was 7 weeks pregnant. 7 weeks and I didn't know! I probably could have guessed because of the symptoms but it just didn't click to me. Really was the BEST surprise. Especially since it's such a short amount of time since I found out I had ovarian cyst, I really thought I wouldn't get pregnant until after the surgery, probably safer for me and the baby too. I also got to hear the heartbeat already. So weird. I asked the doctor so what about my cyst, he said I shouldn't worry so much but if I wanted to I could get surgery when my pregnancy is around 4-5 months, or I can get caesarean and they would lift the tumor at the same time. Ok. Still something I was going to worry about during my entire pregnancy haha. I walked out of the room of course feeling happy, but still surprised, confused, it was just so surreal, not something anyone can describe. I thought of how I would tell my Mom, wanted to make a more elaborate surprise for her, but I just ended up calling her in the hospital. She sounded so excited and cried and it made me so happy. That this baby brings joy to a lot of people and not just me.


After I found out, I was still guarded--even until now. I'm happy, but I don't want to be too happy. I realize that there are a lot of things that can go wrong, and the possibility is not insignificant. It's just in my nature I guess. I just kept saying whatever's best for me and my baby, whatever that means. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and knock on wood everything is fine. Had a little pregnancy scare in Italy but it's a story for another time.

I'm sharing this story hoping that it would help some of you and give you hope. That there's going to be a rainbow after the storm. It certainly helps me to read a lot of mom and pregnancy forums (although sometimes scary as well). It's 1:30 AM now so I'm going to log off.

I want to say thank you to everyone who's been lovely and excited for us. Can't wait for this next massive chapter in my life. Hope everything goes well and as planned. <3

Recent Makeup Obsession

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Hey! How are you? I'm not even going to make excuses because I've been terrible at making blog posts. BUT, I also want to tell you that I've been dealing with things in my personal life. I'm probably going to write a life update post but not now... Ok back to better brighter things! In this post I'm going to talk about relatively new makeup discoveries for me that I have been truuuuly loving.







Estee Lauder Double Wear Light (Intensity 2.0)

If you follow my Instagram, you would know that I'm not a fan of the original Double Wear. I find it too heavy, powdery and mask-like for my liking, even for events where I need my makeup to stay perfect the entire time. I knew about the Double Wear Light from Sharon Farrell (aka one of my faves) and she made me buy it. This foundation is love at first try for me. First of all, the squeezy tube packaging is a thousand times better than its heavy glass bottle counterpart. Eventhough the shade is a little bit yellow at first, but after it sets and after I finish my makeup it looks fine. I would say it has medium coverage, but because of its liquidy texture you can definitely manipulate it by mixing it with other makeup to add coverage. If you find the original Double Wear too flat for you but you want its relatively long wearing properties you can try Double Wear Light. It is a bit satin-y and it has a sheen when you first apply it but when it sets it becomes a smooth, semi matte finish. One more thing, it does control oil. Oil controlling formulas tend to be heavy on my skin, but this one gets my approval. I usually opt for blotting throughout the day instead of looking flat matte because I don't mind my makeup looking "worn" and looking a bit shiny but I hate feeling like I'm wearing a mask all day long. This foundation gives me the best of both worlds. My skin still feels and looks like skin but I don't have to constantly check myself in the mirror every couple of hours to make sure I don't look like an oily mess. It's not as bullet proof as the original Double Wear, but I would gladly sacrifice that to let my skin breathe. I just love it so much! It has everything I need.

Morphe Brushes x Jaclyn Hill Palette

Surprise surprise. I really didn't expect to love it this much eventhough it looks soooo beautiful in pictures (which is why I bought it). I used to have one Morphe palette but I didn't like it at all and never reached out for it. Jaclyn said it's an entirely new formula and they pressed it differently. I trusted her so I got one. When it arrived I was blown away by how beautiful it is in real life. I was afraid that it would be too warm for me but I soon realized that I can work with a lot of the shades. She did the most amazing job picking out the shades! This palette is so versatile and you can DEFINITELY create a ton of looks with it. I don't know if I'm ever going to wear the reds, the blues and teals but it's fun to have them in the palette to set it apart from other neutral palettes. The 'fun' colours are still wearable so if you're into bright eyeshadow looks you are going to enjoy them. I put my quick thoughts on my Instagram so if you want to see you can peep there, but I'm going to say it again here that I find the mattes need some building up because they are not the most pigmented. I experience very little to no fallout which I'm so happy with and the shimmers pack a punch! I looove using a flat brush to pack the shimmer on my eyelids and really have them pop. I don't know what I'm going to do when I hit pan on my favourite shades as it's supposed to be limited edition :( If they suddenly make it permanent I'm not going to be mad.

Colourpop Ultra Satin Lip in Echo Park

I have tried a number of things from Colourpop and none of them were my favourites. I don't really like their highlighters and lippie stix. I didn't enjoy the cream eyeshadows. I think their ultra matte lips have the worst formula. I didn't know what to expect when I ordered two of their ultra satin lips, but wow I am pleased that Echo Park is the perfect nude shade for me. I love the colour so much and the formula is comfortable on the lips while making my lips look fuller. The stopper on my tube didn't work correctly so when I first opened it it was messy but I didn't care and still used it haha. Thank God I did because it's a pleasant surprise!

Colourpop Ultra Satin Lip Echo Park, Estee Lauder Double Wear Light Intensity 2.0







What makeup products have you been loving?

Much love,
x
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