What I Think About Death.

Friday, 20 June 2014

Death is a topic most people are uncomfortable talking about.
But not me.

"Do you believe in the afterlife?"
"I'm skeptical about these things. You know what, it actually drives me to make the best out of this life, because it's all I've got."
"I do. Because it's easier for me to believe that I'm going to see my father again someday. That's what keeps me going."

As some of you might have known (I know my friends are the only people who read this blog, LOL gotcha), my father passed away when I was 7.
Contrary to popular belief, I actually remember everything, every little detail, I remember them all. I miss him everyday. And it hasn't been easy. I don't think I'll ever fully accept that he's gone and I grew up without a dad, knowing he was a magnificent man and he deserved much more, he shouldn't have left us so soon.

My father and I, somewhere in Europe, 1999

 Anyways, ever since my dad's passing, death has been something that's very close to my mind. Whether we like it or not, we're all going to die, and for me, to know (not really, I don't really know, but I believe so) that someone I love is waiting for me on the other side, death has become something that's not so terrifying. This does not mean that I'm ready for it to happen any day soon, but if it actually has to happen, then I embrace it. I see death in a different way now.

Someone told me I sounded a bit macabre because I captioned my picture with "Happy Father's day, Papa. I can't wait to be in your arms again". I genuinely meant that I really can't wait to be with him again, because I have to see him again, and I believe I will. I didn't mean it that way, I didn't say it in a depressing tone. I'm just a daughter who misses her Dad and wanting to see him, unfortunately her Dad is not in the same world as hers anymore. If death is the only way for her to see her father, then it sounds more than okay!

I wouldn't even try to think about this if all my loved ones were here with me, in this world. It would terrify me to death (pun intended), and I would want us to live happily ever after. But having gone through everything in the past 20 years of my life made me who I am today, and my thoughts about death are parts of it.

I'm sorry if this is weird and unusual for you. I would think this was weird too if I was someone else, sorry about that.

Feel free to share what you think in the comments!

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