Dear Parents

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Keep in mind that I've been a daughter for the past 20 years, but I'm not a parent yet.

I'm also aware that all parents are different. Some of us are more fortunate than others. I do know abusive parents exist. I know some people who are happier after they decided to break their relationship with their parents (some people see no point in forcing a relationship with people who don't want to see them happy). As someone once said, "Every woman can give birth, but not all of them deserves to."

Sometimes parents forget that they gave birth to an actual human being, with a brain and a heart. I don't know why it's so hard for some of them to understand that, since they all have those two things too. Sometimes they forget that we're all born different, we all have unique ideas of how we want to spend our lives, we all want to be different things. If those ideas we have end up being similar to our parents' ideas on how they want us to be, then great, but if not it's great too. It's their responsibility to accept us, for everything that we are. We need to remind them that.

Dear parents,
As much as we realise that we have responsibilities as your child, we want you to also realise that you brought us into this world, you chose for us to be here. We're not the ones asking God to have you as our parents (I'm not saying this because I'm emotional/angry, but this is the truth and you know it). When you looked at us for the first time you said you'd love us unconditionally & you'd protect us until the end, but after you found out that we're gay suddenly everything didn't matter and you kicked us out of the house? Do we have to live in fear for the rest of our lives, do we have to hide our identity from the people whom we should trust the most only because we're 'different'? So you're proud of us only if we become what you want us to be? So we have to be Muslims because you are? What if I don't want to be a ballerina? Or a lawyer? Or a doctor? Is it a mistake for us to be ourselves? If you know that we're about to make a wrong decision, give us an alternative, with a valid reason that makes sense. Guide us so we can be a better version of ourselves, not change us.

Dear parents,
Just because you live with us 24/7 doesn't mean you 'know' us. I know some of you really know your children, but some of you don't. We have different talents and interests, if you claim that you really know us, you should be the first person to know what we actually love, and guide us so we can be successful doing it (success can have a lot of meanings), don't let us stray and end up doing something that we don't love as much. Happiness is not equal to having tons and tons of money. I didn't have someone to guide me, I don't want anyone to have to go through that too.

Disneyland Paris 1998

I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for writing this, but I know some of you out there agree with me.
I'm struggling with having a genuine emotional connection with them too. I get very minimal support (besides financial support) from my family so I know what it's like.

Hang in there, people. Whether you're happy or not is on you. You can never please everyone.

Post a Comment

Copyright © Adani Nurimanina
Design by Fearne