I'm Told I'm Not Desirable For Men, and That I Need To

Friday, 8 August 2014

People don't know how much their words can impact someone.
For someone like me, I can remember the things someone said to me for years.

Today I'm told that men will not lust over me, will not desire me if I don't get thin.
It's not the first time.
I've heard it probably more than a thousand times.
The person who tells me that, also tells other people about as if it's their struggle.

I feel embarrassed, humiliated, powerless, angry, and confused.
I feel like I'm not treated as a human being.
They make it seem like that's all there is to me.

Like nothing ever mattered.
They make me feel like as long as men desire me (it's not even 'me', really, it's how I look) I'm a success, and if I'm not, I'm a failure.

They also tell me it's for my health.
But they tell me that to justify the terrible statement they also tell me.
"Kamu gak akan napsuin kalo badan kamu kaya gitu"

Is that really what you want your daughters, nieces, granddaughters, friends to hear?
Is that what you want girls to aspire to?
I know this will stay with me for years.

It saddens me how the society actually has the power and the ability to empower women, and this is all a lot of us get.
Can we do something just for the sake of our own happiness, not because we want some guy to find it interesting?
Should we be flattered every time we get cat called when we walk out on the street?
Do men have that much power over us?
When is this going to change?

The next time you think of body shaming, pointing out people's flaws in a degrading way, attacking someone's self esteem,
don't.

They're possibly insecure already.
They don't need you to tell them.

You don't have to tell me I'm beautiful. You don't have to tell me anything at all.

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