My Wedding Philosophy

Monday, 17 November 2014

When we think of weddings, here in Indonesia, we think of either traditional or modern weddings held in luxurious hotels, convention halls, big venues, with decors that look a certain way, with the newlyweds and their parents up on the stage like a display and the guests lining up to greet the happy couple for a few seconds and there's that. No real connection between the couple and the guests. The couple can't even properly meet their loved ones, there's no exchange of joy, love, and positive energy. It's just that. The guests all focus on the buffet, they all come to the wedding to eat, and then criticize when something tastes subpar.

At the end of the day, the event ends and all that's left are tired couple that's relieved the day's over (more than anything else), very little memory of how the day actually went (because they just stood on the stage from beginning to end, that does not make a once in a lifetime memory I don't think), and an empty bank account. Everyone else moves on.
That's it. I hear very little unique, intimate moments shared on a wedding day because everyone's wedding's pretty much the same. The couples spend hundreds of millions only to watch people eat from a stage, close but distant from the people they love, and nothing else. For some, especially a lot of ambitious parents, a wedding is the day where you get to show off how much money you have. The more guests, the better. The more expensive the decor looks, the better. The bigger the venue, the better. The bride wears an Oscar de la Renta dress, tres magnifique. I don't need to remind you every wedding has a VIP section, where 'very important' guests eat from a separate buffet, apart from all the 'ordinary' guests that swarm every food stall in the venue, always thinking what to taste next. Of course this is something that a lot of people want, everyone's free to have their weddings their way. For me, I don't want this.

A wedding is to me, above all, should be about celebration of love, it's where everyone who's involved is wholeheartedly happy for the couple. The people present should be people whom the couple love, and also those who love them. Everything else should be secondary. Every wedding is beautiful because it's something holy, it happens once in a life of two people, it's a symbol of unity. A wedding should be filled with love, not thoughts on how 'imperfect' the wedding is. If you truly care about the couple, these things shouldn't matter so much.

As for my wedding, I will be having my wedding at home. Why? Because why not? It's perfect size for the amount of people I will invite. Both my siblings had more than 1000 guests to their weddings (they had theirs in proper wedding venues, and it's the standard amount of guests here) and for me, I think I'm going to invite around 350 people, divided into two. So our family will be attending only the akad nikah (muslim wedding vows) in the afternoon, and our friends will attend the party at night. It's still a lot of people, but I don't think my mom will be happy with any less than that.

As I stated before, we wanted to only invite the people who we love and who love us, so we will only invite our closest friends whom we know will be happy for us above anything else. As for the family we'll invite, for my side, my mom will take care of it because if it were up to me, I would invite only a handful of people and my mom wouldn't be very happy so it's up to her. For the food as well, my mom takes care of the catering because she does that best. As for everything else, I'm the one in charge.

I will make separate posts on things wedding related. I have a lot of things to share because I want things to be a little bit different than usual. If you love wedding talks, stay tuned! :)


  1. Thanks a lot for giving such valuable information!! Well, I am finding wedding planner for my wedding planning. Actually, I need a planner in my budget and who is expert in organizing best weddings. Have you any idea for a planner?

    1. Where do you live? I live in Indonesia, if you live here I can give you some recommendations.

  2. hello Adani,

    wah.. kita satu pikiran banget nih.. saya capeng yang sedang stress karena kemarin pas meeting kedua dengan keluarga.. mereka agak bingung dengan konsep wedding saya yang menurut mereka sangat "nyeleneh" dari biasanya.. huhuhuhu...

    tapi saya dan calon suami sudah sepakat, dan semoga nanti semuanya berjalan lancar.. seneng deh ketemu blog kamu :) keep writing something positive and good! :)

    1. Semangat yaa mbak! Yang penting diingat adalah ini harinya kalian, yang sampai mati akan terus betul2x ingat ya kalian ajaa.. Gak banyak orang yang betul2x 'peduli' sampai bertahun2x kemudian. Tentunya ingin tetap hormati orangtua... tapi mestinya mereka seneng kok kalau kalian seneng. Aku sih gas aja pas kemarin itu hehe :) Semoga lancar yaa pernikahannya <3

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