Why I'm Getting Married Really Young

Thursday, 13 November 2014

First of all, I'm Indonesian living in Jakarta. I'm 21. I'm getting married in the first quarter next year.

Where I live, it's not that much of a surprise. People get married this young all the time. It may be weird for people living overseas. But I just want to explain why I decided to get married.

My fiance and I have been together for around 4 years. It's a short amount of time compared to what we're about to commit to. He's 26, has a stable income (compared to me who's just starting out building my brand), and is nothing but a gentleman.

The day of our engagement



I've always been a romantic. I have always been in love with the idea of Great Love. Funny I end up with a guy who's a complete opposite. But I've always known he's the kind of guy I'd end up marrying. We've always had a stable relationship. When we first started knowing each other, he reminded me a bit of my Dad (who's my role model), and although it took time for me to choose to be with him, once we put a label on it, it's been the easiest relationship I've ever been in. It's almost like the universe conspires us to be together. Even people around me can see that.

That's the thing, you know. With him, I've always been conscious of my decisions. I wasn't 'stupidly' in love. I didn't let my feelings cloud my judgment of what's right, because I know he might be the one-- that made me 'studied' him, almost. We met when I was 17, and even at that point I felt like I was 'grown up' enough to start looking for someone I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It was never a game with me, lulz. I know people reading this might disagree, might think that this is bullcrap, but that's honestly how I was and how I felt. Anyways, one day early on in the relationship, after long considerations and deep thinking, I just knew he might be the one. Everything felt right. We never fight, not even once. The biggest arguments we had were never about each other or mistakes we did, they were always about life. We debate a lot about our values, how we wanted to live our lives, and that's one of the things that I value most in our relationship, is that we can scream at each other talking about "risks of building a business" or "making scary decisions" but after that hug each other even tighter and love each other more. I love that. I love talking about deep stuff with him. It's just a relief to have someone who treats you as equal and genuinely listens to your opinions, rather than making everything a competition (I've had a competitive boyfriend in the past, me being a competitive person myself, it just never worked out).

Other than that, we want the same thing. That's kind of rare. And that's one of the most important things I guess, to consider when you're deciding whether to marry someone. Does his lifestyle fit yours? Does she want to move abroad once you get the chance? Does he want to travel? Does she want kids? Will she believe in me when I resign and decide to build a business? Will he stay by my side if one day I decide to change my life's direction? Is this what she wants? Is he happy?

He lets me be what I want. I know my life is not going to stop after the wedding. I'm not just going to be someone's wife, and he gives me total freedom to do anything that I want. We aspire to great things. It all comes down to 'we want the same thing'.

So to wrap up why I'm getting married really young, the answer is that it feels natural to take the next step. It's a huge step but it feels easy. Like it's meant to be. Everything just works perfectly. There's really no other way to explain it. I never had second thoughts. I always knew this was going to happen. We want a lot of things, and it's easier for us to be where want to be sooner if we can always be together, if there's no boundaries. We're raised muslims, so we cannot live together unless we're married. We can't go on a long term travel together, unless we're married, stuff like that. I'm happy with him. That's what matters.

Everyone's relationship is different. If you think I'm too young to get married, it's up to you. It's a responsible decision I'm making, and I hope no one wishes anything bad to happen to us. If you're not there yet, it's fine. I just happen to find someone to be with at such young age. Did I know I was going to get married this early? No.

There's no exact date for the wedding yet, because things happened and we don't want to say anything just yet. :)

Much love.

2 comments

Copyright © Adani Nurimanina
Design by Fearne