Life Update - Being Married

Friday, 22 May 2015

Tokyo Disneysea, 2015


I have been married for like--a second, so I'm not saying I know absolutely everything about a marriage. But what I know is from what I've experienced so far (which is like 2 months), it's the biggest change that has happened in my life so far, but at the same time it is also the easiest, it feels like it's a natural progression of our relationship.
We dated for 5 years and we have always known we were going to get married in the end, because we know we make a great pair. It's not about who he is or who I am, but who we are as a couple. It's about what comes out of a combination of two people. And I think, ladies, that's what matters. There's not a moment that I feel awkward or confused as to what to do with my new title as a wife, and thankfully my husband never demands anything from me. He married me for who I am.

If you ask me what changed, for me the change that I have felt the most is who I have become internally. It is not something I can describe but maybe if you are reading this and you are married you can explain below? Thanks in advance. It's this feeling of truly belonging to someone else, and the feeling of having someone to take care of, feeling secure because I'm with someone I trust, feeling more mature and grown because I'm aware that there are things we must do and decisions we must make as a married couple. Also, my priorities. He is my number one priority now. Not because I'm his wife so I'm below him, but it's respect. He never demands anything but I'm the one who is aware of my responsibility as a wife. I used to go out with my friends all the time and have a boy friend drive me home past midnight, but now all I want to do is be with my husband when I can. I'm thankful I can be home everyday when he gets home from work, and when I go out with my friends I try to match our schedule so he can pick me up and we can go home together. He's completely supportive of everything I want to do, but I won't do something without his blessing. It may not seem like a big deal but internally there is something. What else changed? Living together and sharing a bed with someone who used to be a total stranger. It's huge. Some people need major adjustments, but I'm really grateful that nothing has been an issue for us (so far). My husband has a great amount of understanding towards me. We are still the same people we are before we're married, only now we are better, elevated, and well, married. It's like we've been living together since forever. Last but not least, I love him so much more now. I never thought it was possible to love someone this much. I would die for him and I am not kidding.

Do I like being married? Hell yes I like being married, in fact I love being married. Being a wife is my favourite role in the world. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I have made a lot of decisions I regret, but this is not one of them. It's been amazing, it's been what I want and more. I love being in love, I love to love, I love being loved. A huge part of this is because I know I'm married to the right person (hopefully we'll stay like this forever). My husband is the best husband ever. He has been so amazing. I am really thankful for how he understands and how much patience he has with me (hehe). My husband is not perfect, he does not have the physique of Channing Tatum, he does not serenade me with a guitar, we are very different people but he is everything I need. I think a reason why some relationships don't work out is that both parties cannot find what they need in their partner, or that they don't even know what they actually need.

Are we planning to have kids asap? No. We don't. It's our decision so please respect it. Both of us still want a lot of things for ourselves so we are currently not trying. If it happens, then it happens, but we aren't planning. I feel like I am still too selfish to be a mother, and it will be unfair to our kid if I can't be the best version of myself for them. Remember that people get married not just to have kids, it is one of the many reasons to get married, but not the only one. Think of it this way, when we give birth to a child, we are the one who is supposed to want them to be here in this world, so their lives are completely our responsibility, from beginning to end. The child does not ask to be put into our tummy and live in this cruel world but we are the one who decide whether we are ready to raise a human being. I will love my child wholeheartedly, unconditionally, at the right time, on my own terms. I think it's rude and disrespectful to push a woman into getting pregnant. I can't understand how a lot of people cannot see what a big deal having children is. Just saying! :)

Much love, x

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